Anybody remember this familiar old chant?
"First is worst,
Second is best,
Third has a hairy chest"
Hopefully I am not the only adult who remembers this little song from my grade school days (wow, I feel old saying that.) Anyhow, this usually came after the conclusion of a race or competition of some sort. Whoever was chanting it usually was the person who came in second. And if you came in third you might have twisted that ending to say "has a treasure chest." Not like I am speaking from experience or anything! ;)
Competition starts early in life as does the desire to be first. I participated in competition gymnastics when I was younger and I still remember wanting desperately to get a first place in every event. It didn't matter if the other girls were better, had trained longer, or didn't fall off like I did (I was not a fan of beam); I wanted to hold a blue ribbon! I kept and cherished all my ribbons in those years but the blue ones were extra special because they meant on that day at that time I was better than the others. I had outdone them and won. I had achieved something that day.
Not real sure I achieved much in the fashion department back then- I was rocking that side pony tail and bright leo! Anyway, competition is a healthy thing to an extent but it can become too much. It can wear on you when you let it flow into every crack and crevice of your life. It isn't wrong to want to do things well or to be better at them but you can never be the best at everything. It just isn't possible. It is something I continually struggle with and has gotten harder since becoming a mom. Every mom knows about the mommy wars that rage between mothers. God continually has to put my heart in check on these things.
Who cares if my kid learns to read early, on time, or late. It is not something anyone but me should worry about. He loves reading time and loves trying to count. I have yet to get a decent video of that but hope to soon- because it is pretty comical. He learns things in his own time and I know it makes no difference how old he was when he started crawling, walking, and talking. Selfishly I wish he was talking better because some of the things he jabbers just sounds so interesting I wish I knew what he was saying. Haha, but I also know as soon as he starts...there is no going back. So I will cherish the small vocabulary while it is still small.
So why all this talk about being first? Because it is a reminder I have to give myself daily that while it is not wrong to want to be great at things- I can't let it drag me down that I am not great at everything. That is why I have friends and family in my corner to be the strength in my areas of weakness. I won't be the best at being fit, at work, cook, organizer, etc. It just isn't feasible. There is one thing I am the best at and proudly so. I am the best Ian's mommy there is. No one will be a better mommy to him than me. As long as I come in first there- the rest will be okay. There are so many people in my son's life who love him unconditionally and I am ever grateful for that but they are not his mom- I am. And I don't have to be size 2, phenomenal cook, creative, and organized in order to ensure my child has a happy and balanced childhood.
We do pretty good. He is a happy little guy who face lights up when he sees me. He loves playing outside. He loves bath time, which is good considering all the outside time and the fact that he is a boy! He loves trying to talk and repeat sounds, monkey sound is his favorite. He loves green beans, mashed potatoes, and biscuits (my kind of boy). He loves to be independent but still enjoy a good snuggle first thing in the morning. So in conclusion friends, try not to let your competitiveness get in the way of loving what you do in life. It doesn't matter if it is work, in your marriage, in your parenting, or elsewhere. It isn't worth the stress, besides as we all know second is really the best anyway!