Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Fear

I think fear has been my biggest struggle as of late. I know that God has a plan in the mess that is my life right now. I have faith that He will see me through this and I will be able to praise Him through it all. What I battle with daily is the fear.

I am afraid of never experiencing true love again. I thought I had it. I thought I had my true love and now I don't. All of this took me by complete surprise. I don't want to go into too much detail but I didn't think that I would ever have to worry about my husband walking away from me.

I am afraid of motherhood without a father. My family is amazing and I have no doubts that they will all be there to do and be whatever they can for my sweet boy but it isn't the same. I see couples with their children and sometimes it is everything I can do to hold back the tears. I always imagined this as such an exciting time and experiencing everything for the first time with the person I love. It is scary to think about going about it without him.

I am afraid of so many things that it is overwhelming at times. Most of the time I am able to keep my mind on positive things but there are other times when it is all overwhelming and I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control. Please pray that God controls my fears by taking them. I just need to continue to give my fears over to Him.

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