Luckiest Girl in the World

This is how I have felt lately when I go to do my morning devotion and time with God. I am so lucky, beyond that I am blessed. When the new year started I was hesitant about making any new year's resolutions because let's face it- last year was not a year I will look back on fondly and think, "Man- that was a great year!" Never the less I did feel compelled to make at least one resolution. My resolution had nothing to do with weight, because hello...going on 30 weeks preggers here- we need not focus on weight right now. It had nothing to do with eating better, because as most dear to me know- I am one of the world's pickiest eaters. I didn't need to make a resolution to be more organized or cleanly because again- come March there will be a wee one in tow and I am not going to make a resolution I absolutely know will get lost in the hurry of things. Instead I knew exactly what my new year's resolution should be; deepen my walk with God. 

I know there are many people that make this resolution that fall short by February or March. I am not saying there will not be days where I slack, particularly around March 22nd. :) I do, however, know this is something that I need in my life more than I ever have needed it before. Most of you know by now the struggles I have had in my personal relationships over the last six months. I still have no idea what God in His plans for that situation but my commitment is to no longer allow it to be the focus of my life. For the past six months it has been the dominant thought in my mind everyday. This has gotten no where. I am by no means saying I am giving up on the situation all together but I am no longer centering my life around it, because that is definitely not the right answer. I am committed to praying for this person everyday and loving them in the best way I can with my heart in this condition. Something that God has shown me, though, is how to see his love in this situation. There have been numerous Sunday School lessons, sermons, and Bible studies on the Israelites and how they tested God, drifted from God, disobeyed God, and were given more chances than it seemed they deserved. I always looked at that and said, "Yes, that is wonderful that God loved them." I feel like the past few months have shown me what that love looks like on a more meaningful level. I have struggled trying to love through all the pain and heart ache. I have struggled loving through the let downs. I have tried to show unconditional love and I have felt that I still get turned down. This upset me so much at first, until it hit me that is what God does. He loves all unconditionally. He loves us when we let Him down. He loves us when we turn our back on Him. He loves us when we want nothing to do with Him.

 

It is so much more than that though, God actively loves us!! On top of Him not letting go of His love for us- He continues to actively pursue us. We could turn our back and ignore Him and He will continue to reach out to us. He wants a relationship with us more than I think we will ever know. I am so encouraged and uplifted by that fact and it has just been on my heart to write this down and share that with any who come across this. My prayer for you this new year is that instead of turning away, you turn towards Christ. You don't let Him be the only one in pursuit. If you have pursued something without success, try to remember how it felt and make a change so that is not reflective of your relationship with Christ.

When I made the decision to commit to this I knew I wanted to read the Word daily as well as have something small to read in addition to that. The pastor at my church handed out a wonderful Bible reading plan that is very easy to follow and prompts you to read from 4 different place daily so you don't get bogged down in the Old Testament. If you would like to know more about it, leave a comment and I will be glad to share it with you. I also purchased the book above, Experiencing God's Presence The One Year Devotional. For me, growing closer to God was about experiencing His presence in my life more. I have been so encouraged by the short daily passages and words I have read in this devotional. I would like to share with you one of the passages from a few days ago that really touched my heart. 

Excerpt from book:

January 4

"He has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature."

What would happen if we asked God- not just occasionally but as persistent, daily, even moment-by moment request- to allow us to host His Presence? What if we sought to become a living, breathing, tangible demonstration of His person? Is that a realistic hope?

It seems like a bold, even arrogant request, but any lesser request falls short of our design and His stated purposes. God has promised that we will share in His divine nature and has given us His Spirit to make it happen. He is apparently more zealous to be present within us and among us than we are to experience His Presence. He seeks us more than we seek Him.

Why is that? It's a greater honor and privilege for us to host the living God than for Him to get close to a flawed, common human being. We should be the more enthusiastic seekers in the relationship. But God created us for this purpose: to inhabit us, to relate to us intimately , to be with us. That's why He created humanity. Love desires to share. God wants to share Himself.

Let Him. Don't just issue a casual invitation for Him to be present in your life. He doesn't normally respond well to casual invitations. His love is too intense for someone with halfhearted intentions. Instead, choose to relentlessly seek Him. Then give Him time. He will begin to fulfill His desire and yours.

1,110 Months

That is the number of months my grandfather lived on this earth. In years that is 92 and 1/2 years. I hope I did my math correctly, if not please forgive me! My grandfather passed away December 21, 2012. My grandfather was affectionately referred to as "Grandaddy" in our family. He was the very definition of a patriarch of the family. His family was always important to him and I pray we all let him know he was just as important to us. Grandaddy was a faithful face in the crowd. I could always count on him to be at numerous volleyball matches, basketball games, tennis matches, and soccer games. When he could get there- he was there. It didn't matter if that meant loading his scooter up in the truck so he could make it from the parking lot to the soccer field. I don't know very many friends who have been that blessed.

Grandaddy was known for his contagious smile and distinct laughter. The holidays were bittersweet having to lay this sweet man to rest before Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve was always one of the holidays that was spent as his house. We partook in a somewhat untraditional holiday meal; a fish fry complete with hush puppies, slaw, french fries, and other treats. After piling in the garage and eating dinner and dessert, we would open and exchange gifts. Of course, as a child this was what I looked forward to the most. As a young adult, it grew to be the family that I looked forward to the most. That is something my grandaddy would be proud of. He should be because he is one of the main reasons I feel that way. 

I will greatly miss giving this sweet man hugs. It was one of my favorite things to have this man hug me and tell me he loved me. I will always be grateful that is the last thing I heard him say to me, "I love you too." I will never forget the big smile on his face when he saw my 2 year old nephew Sam for the last time. I certainly wish I would have had the opportunity to introduce my grandaddy to his next great-grandchild Ian. However, I know he is running through the streets of heaven and sharing his contagious happiness with everyone there. I can't wait to get there and give him a hug again. I know the Lord is pleased to have him there and I know my grandaddy is loving worshipping the Lord pain free.

Jingle Bells

Well my sweet Ian is 26 weeks along now. He is very much in the Christmas spirit. He likes to move around and it feels like he is dancing sometimes he is moving so much. The mornings are still his favorite time of the day but he is getting more and more active as the weeks progress, or maybe I just feel him moving more. Sadly, the cold weather illness has not stayed away from me. Sunday morning I woke up with a really sore throat. Today the sore throat has subsided some but a stuffy nose and sneezes moved in to replace it. I am hoping it goes away quickly instead of getting worse but we will see. Ian is definitely taking up more room and making mom make more frequent bathroom trips. Sunday morning I went before Sunday School, after Sunday School, during greeting time, and again during the offering. Ridiculous! Oh well, guess I better get used to it.

Well along with pregnancy and dealing with continued marital issues, I decided to embark on a new adventure with a company by the name of Initials Inc. This company is mainly bags, purses, organizational type bags, etc. They also carry a few baby products, lucky for me. I made my first order a couple weeks ago and found a diaper bag and baby blanket I wanted to get for Ian. I used some money that Jonathan's grandfather gave me to get a gift for Ian. The blanket is crazy soft!! The bag is cute but still somewhat boyish which is exactly what I was looking for. Boys are great and all but it is so much harder to find cute things that are boyish. My mother-in-law wanted to get me a diaper bag from Vera Bradley but I couldn't find one I could see myself passing off as a boy's bag. So I was pleased that my new venture led me to this cute stash, and the personalization is free! Happy momma!

My mom, sister, two nephews, and I took in some Friday afternoon football last week. My alma mater, a small Christian school in Ga, made it to the state championship for the first time. They have only had a football team for a little under ten years so it is very cool how much God has done through this small school that has done nothing but grow since I graduated in 2004. It has been a real treat to substitute there the past couple months and see how the people that work there are dedicated to God's calling and sharing that with those kids. The nephews were a little less excited about the football game and a little more excited with the idea of sugary cotton candy, popcorn, nachos, and trying to sneak as many sips of soda as they could.

While the boys were focused on their extreme eating, the football team played a very solid first half and went into half time trailing 7-0 against a very large football team. Unfortunately, being from a small school means that the majority of the boys play both offense and defense. That means that come the second half most of those boys were physically drained from playing so hard the first half of the game. They got their tails handed to them in the second half but we were all still proud of the season they had and the way they put everything they had out there on the field. All in all, it was a good weekend.

Ian Matthew

 Well my first baby shower was today! My sweet and dear college roomie put together a shower and my amazing mother helped. It was so much fun!! I got to see some of Jonathan's family I haven't seen in a while and they were tickled that I am finally starting to show. Ian is kicking up a storm right now as I write this. He must want me to tell you how excited he is about all the great goodies he got today!

We had a great spread of yummy foods. Ian's favorite today was the carrots and ranch dip, healthy boy! ;) The cake was yummy too! Ian's bedding has animals on it so we tried to do an animal theme and of course blue!!

 Like I said, Ian got a lot of great goodies today from sweet friends and family. He got his pack n' play, his bedding, lots of cute clothes, some of his bath stuff, some diapers, pacifiers, bibs, and of course lots of love. I have to admit opening baby presents is a lot more fun than opening wedding presents in front of people because baby stuff is so cute and it is for Ian, not me so it is not so weird having everyone watch you. :)

I got to see one of my sweet childhood friends who is about three weeks ahead of me. My mother insisted on getting a shot of us and our bellies. We are both having boys and I hope they will be friends just like us mommies are friends. It is somewhat mind boggling to think that I will be so much bigger in just three weeks! I feel like I get bigger everyday, which obviously I do a little bit everyday but I feel like every morning I wake up and sit up in bed and am like, how did that happen? Haha. My sweet Ian loves the morning time too so that makes it ok to see how big I am when I feel him moving around. My sweet boy is going to be a morning person I think. Hehe, not like his mom or dad I am afraid! :) Oh well!

Dark Days

Ok, so it has been a while. I did go have my hair dyed back to a color that is closer to its natural color. It is a little darker now but will lighten up. I am pleased knowing I won't have to worry about the upkeep of dying it light for a while. I also got new glasses for the first time in about five years. It was long overdue. Haha, so here is the updated look.

So far I like it. It took me a while to get used to seeing my hair so dark again but now that I am used to it, I wish I would have done it sooner. I think if I ever go back light again it will be only for a season.

I have hit the 24 week landmark. I just got back this morning from doing my glucose test, yucky drink. Ian is still moving around a good bit. He loves to move around in the morning when I am starting to wake up. He moves throughout the day as well but not as much as he does in the early morning.

I am really starting to poke out now and I am hoping that people can realize it is because of pregnancy and not a really big meal. :) His heart rate still sounded good this morning although with the combination of it being morning and 50 grams of sugar in mom he was very mobile so it was hard to listen to it for a long time because he would move again. Silly boy! Well that is the update for now. Ian's first shower is this Saturday and I am so excited, so more on that coming!

Rumble and Tumble

I forgot how much I missed Target until I found my new favorite winter hat, plus matching scarf and gloves! Haha. It is probably a good thing that Target does not ship to APO or I would have been much worse off in Germany! I am incredibly thankful that I will get to enjoy in the Thanksgiving festivities with my family again for the first time in a couple years.

I am in my 22nd week with my little Ian and he is rumbling around a lot now. He loves the wee hours of the morning when I have to roll over and get comfortable again to let me know he is there. It is such a wonderful thing to feel him moving and kicking. I love that it is easier to feel him now because it is an ever-present of the miracle that God is working inside this tummy of mine. So wonderful. Well, off to get my hair trimmed and colored back to natural color so I don't feel like I have to mess with it too much during the rest of the pregnancy and when little bit comes along!

Birthday Bash

This past weekend I had the great opportunity to spend a day with my family celebrating the birthday of my sister-in-law early. We all met at my sister's house in north Georgia to go on a short afternoon hike. The trees were beautiful, despite some of them already surrendering their leaves to the seasonal change. We took the pooches because we figured it would be better than leaving them at home by themselves all day. Here they are on the drive up. They enjoyed the walk and we were able to wear them out a little because by the time we got back into the car they were both laid out! Haha! We got to spy on a few kayakers as they braved the rushing waters. It was quite the site. My brother even found a little baby snake which of course my dad caught to show my two nephews. They enjoyed the treat.

Here is the view from one of our look out spots along our hike. I do wish we could have seen the trees in their fall time prime but God'd nature is beautiful in all seasons. After our hike we delivered the dogs back to my sister's house to rest while the rest of us caught up on football highlights. If you know our family, you know how important sports are so we were a little excited to see that Texas A&M was giving Alabama a run for their money. After a little bit of chill down time, we went to a local restaurant and enjoyed dinner. I had alfredo which came in a heaping portion that would put anyone to shame if they finished even half of it! By the time I was full, my plate looked barely touched! Lucky for me, because it gave me leftovers to munch on for a couple more days afterwards.

After dinner, we headed back to sister's house to cheer on the dawgs. After the first half we had all digested just enough of dinner to make room for strawberry birthday cake. It was delish and of course with the professional candle-blower-outers at hand, those candles didn't stand a chance. It was a great day had by all. The dawgs even sealed a big win for Lisa's birthday bash. I have learned a lot about my sweet sister-in-law over the last few months. The biggest thing I have learned is that she is much stronger than her just shy of 5 foot appearance comes across. She is a wonderful person who is a mighty prayer warrior and encourager when you need one. She stands by her family through thick and thin. I am grateful the Lord blessed my brother with her, and consequently gave me another amazing sister.